Being realistic

1) Quitting caffiene cold turkey... not such a good idea. I didn't quit smoking cold turkey, and I'm sure not going to be able to quit caffiene cold turkey. That was a stupid move. The last 24 hours has been hell. I had a headache like you wouldn't believe yesterday... borderline migrane. I took some advil and drank a big coke and felt FAB in like 20 minutes. Then I felt like crap because I failed. New approach - do it like I did smokes... cut back little by little. Goal today - drink my AM joe, have sprite with lunch (carbonated beverages are next on the chopping block), and MAYBE a splash of afternoon coffee.

Now it's time to be real with myself. I have PCOS and hypothyroidism (slow/underactive thyroid). I need to make it clear to myself that the weight may fall right off for some people, but for me it most likely won't. I'm still going to have to work super hard.

And another thing.... Starting my personal (not doctor required) pre-op diet has been super hard because all I can think about is the fact that pretty soon I won't be able to eat the way I do now. It feels like a burden. And it's hard to do because I feel like it's pointless because I don't think I'll lose. That's the shameful thought that rests in the back of my mind... I CANT lose alone.

Just a side note.... all of these appointments are KILLING me! It's like 1786 doctor appointments crammed into a month period. I had my consult last Monday the 8th, the Thursday before then I had the 3 hour class, today I have part 1 of the psych eval, tomorrow I have part 2 of the psych eval, next week I go to the dietician, then at some point I'll have the pre op exam then SURGERY!

I feel like there is so much I need to know and so much I don't know, despite the fact that I have done so much research.

I've been super addicted to watching... well, listening to... youtube videos lately. Very helpful. So far my faves are thebandinme and hholly112002.